One of my more moody song lyrics to a pop song I wrote in 2011 simply states "...and who do you think you are?" It's a particularly grumpy song that makes a couple broad, philosophical statements about the romantic life of an artist (or rather lack thereof), but I find myself going back to it on occasions such as halfway through this week.
My makeup channel: CarlySmashesLipstick, featured a pretty silly video about my past makeup looks as a teenager. My vlog channel: CarlySmashesYouTube, premiered a Rap Battle between my 16 year old self and my 24 year old self, with a surprise guest of my 19 year old self at the end to add to the argument.
My dad told me this week it is healthy to laugh at yourself, to look back and recognize the mistakes that were make and to not take yourself too seriously, and this is coming from a very serious, very professional man. I consider myself a professional; an educated artist. Do I think I know everything there is to know? Certainly not. Do I take myself seriously? Yes. Do I take myself too seriously? That's where it gets fuzzy.
Growing up, I felt the general consensus of the people around me was that I came off with a "don't mess with me" attitude. Whether I was trying to drive people away or I wasn't in a social mood, most people assumed I had everything "figured out". Maybe that's because of the way I carry myself. Maybe it's because I'm married. Maybe I'm making all of this up.
The truth? I think making fun of myself is the easiest thing to do and the fastest way to make people laugh. I'm gullible, I'm silly, I'm awkward, and I've had phases (like most of us) that I'm not proud of. It's a fast way to make people more comfortable in any situation: by presenting yourself as more vulnerable to a joke. If someone plays a trick on me, I'll usually fall for it, and then congratulate them for making me laugh. Besides, if we don't laugh, what is the alternative? This world is too scary to be serious about everything. Without laughter, I think we go a little insane.
I'm bringing this up mostly because last week, I got pretty serious on this blog. I was depressed (still kind of am), I was confused, and I was troubled by my situation. None of this has really changed, but taking a look backward this week has somehow helped remind me that I need to maybe take a breather and give myself a bit of a break. I'm going through another chapter of life. I'm young. I've got time to figure this out. I need to remember to laugh and smile and sing to myself when I get sad.
I'll leave you with a final thought that I've seriously considered getting as a tattoo because I think it speaks to my philosophy of life. Its a silly quote from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", just a little sentiment of escape from the Great Depression of the world.
"With a smile and a song, all the world is a bright sunny day your cares fade away and your heart is young".
Singing and performing and writing make everything better for me. Remembering to laugh at myself makes me stronger and happier. Don't let a serious, bitter outlook take away your spirit, and loosen up when the joke is on you. Life plays tricks on us all the time, and having the upper hand means rolling with the punches.
Hope you all have a happy, laughter filled week as the holidays draw near!